Trust Over Control: Why Your Dog’s Instincts Are the Key to a Stronger Bond
When you welcome a dog into your life, you’re not just gaining a loyal companion — you’re opening a door to a world full of instincts, emotions, and silent conversations.
And yet, so often without even realising it, we’re taught to meet their natural behaviours with resistance.
"No barking."
"No sniffing."
"No jumping."
But what if true connection isn’t about shutting doors?
What if it’s about opening possibilities — by listening to our dogs and working with their instincts, not against them?
Let’s explore how honouring your dog’s nature can build a deeper, calmer, and more joyful life together.
"My dog knows what ‘no’ means... right?"
It’s easy to believe that dogs understand words the same way we do.
But in reality, dogs aren’t born knowing human language.
They learn meaning through observation, emotional tone, and repeated experience — not from the words themselves.
When we shout "No!" — especially without guiding them toward what we do want — we miss a possibility for true communication.
Dogs are masters of reading body language and emotional energy long before they ever understand a word.
Training isn’t about commanding.
It’s about connecting — and discovering the possibilities that open when you meet your dog where they are.
"But isn’t instinctive behaviour just ‘bad behaviour’?"
Not at all.
Your dog’s instincts — barking, sniffing, chasing — aren’t ‘problems’ to fix.
They’re essential parts of who your dog is.
Imagine a young athlete who loves to run, but is asked every day to sit inside and paint instead.
With enough practice, they might paint beautifully — but their heart would still long to run.
It’s the same with our dogs.
When we suppress natural behaviours without offering healthy outlets, we don’t create calmness — we create quiet frustration and unmet needs.
Working with your dog’s instincts doesn’t mean losing control.
It means unlocking new possibilities: for emotional balance, resilience, and joy.
"But what if my dog’s instincts feel overwhelming?"
It’s completely normal to feel unsure if your dog’s natural behaviours sometimes seem ‘too much.’
Especially when chasing, barking, or pulling becomes part of everyday life.
The pawsibility for change lies not in fighting these instincts — but in listening earlier.
For example:
I once worked with a hunting dog who loved to chase.
Her owners used to shout "No!" — but she was already gone before the word left their lips.
The turning point came when they noticed her first tiny signal — a lifted paw, pointing at her target.
Instead of shouting, they calmly said, "Good girl, I see it."
And just like that, she stayed connected.
She didn’t need to chase — she had already been heard.
Early listening creates possibilities for gentle redirection — before behaviour spirals into overwhelm.
"What early signs should I watch for?"
Dogs rarely jump from calmness to chaos in one heartbeat.
They offer us countless quiet signs along the way — tiny possibilities to respond.
Look for signs as:
Sniffing the ground — often a way to self-soothe, not distraction.
Rolling over during play — sometimes a sign of overstimulation.
Growling — a polite request for space, not a ‘bad’ behaviour.
Growling is one of the most beautiful examples of trust:
your dog trusts you enough to say, "I'm uncomfortable," before reaching breaking point.
When we respond to these early signals, we build a relationship where soft whispers are enough — no shouting needed.
"If I don't say ‘no,’ how do I guide my dog?"
It’s not about never setting boundaries.
It’s about how you invite cooperation.
Shouting "No!" often carries panic or frustration — and dogs, being emotional beings, feel that storm just as much as they hear the word.
Instead of closing doors with correction, try opening possibilities with calm, clear guidance:
"Good choice!"
"Thank you for showing me."
"Let’s do this together."
Dogs are naturally drawn toward what feels safe, rewarding, and predictable.
When you offer calm leadership, you invite your dog to step willingly across the bridge you’re building.
"Am I spoiling my dog if I let them express themselves?"
Absolutely not.
Allowing your dog to express natural behaviours — and guiding them gently — is not spoiling.
It’s relationship-building.
When dogs are given healthy outlets for their instincts, they often become calmer, more focused, and more connected.
Meeting needs isn’t indulgence.
It’s the foundation for emotional wellbeing — for both ends of the lead.
"How can I meet my dog’s needs without letting chaos take over?"
Instead of fighting against instincts, weave them intentionally into your daily life:
Barking? Thank your dog for alerting you, then guide them into calmness.
Sniffing? Build 'sniff breaks' into your walks — a gift to your dog’s soul.
Chasing? Channel excitement through structured games like tug, flirt pole, or scent work.
It’s not about removing needs.
It’s about offering possibilities for those needs to be met in ways that nurture trust, joy, and balance.
Listening Unlocks a World of Pawsibilities
When you stop fighting your dog’s instincts and start listening, everything softens.
Training shifts from a battlefield... to a partnership.
I see it again and again — including in the sweet Cane Corso I’m currently working with.
At first, her dog reactivity might have looked like ‘aggression’ to some.
But by listening deeply, we found a dog who had been trying, in every way she knew, to ask for space and understanding - supported by handlers who stood by her and were willing to learn.
It’s not about dominance.
It’s about needs, emotions, and survival strategies misunderstood by a noisy world.
Would you call a person ‘bad’ for defending their boundaries when polite requests were ignored?
Dogs deserve the same grace.
One Final Thought:
When you listen to your dog’s instincts, you aren’t losing control. You’re unlocking the pawsibilities of a lifetime bond.
You're saying:
"I see you. I hear you. I’m with you."
And when a dog feels seen, they don’t stay close out of obligation.
They stay close because trust makes staying feel easy, natural, and safe. 🐾
Snatch, Guard, Repeat? How ‘Show Me’ Interrupts the Cycle with Trust
🐾 Why your dog’s scavenging isn’t about being naughty—and how you can guide them with connection, not correction.
The Snatch-and-Guard Spiral
You’re walking your dog and suddenly—snap!—they’ve grabbed something off the pavement. At home, it might be a sock, a sponge, or a scrap of paper. You move toward them, and they freeze, run off, gulp it down, or growl. It’s easy to feel frustrated or worried. But what’s really going on?
Dogs are natural opportunists. When they find something interesting—edible or not—their instinct kicks in: “This might be valuable. I’d better grab it.” That split-second decision isn’t about being disobedient. It’s about impulse, curiosity, or even comfort. Sometimes, that snatched sock just smells like home.
The trouble starts when they don’t know what to do next. Many dogs become overwhelmed once the item is in their possession. Should they eat it? Hide it? Play with it? Their uncertainty often leads to panic or protection. If past experiences taught them that humans always take things away, they may start guarding what they’ve found—holding it tightly, freezing, growling, or swallowing it quickly before anyone can interfere.
Over time, this creates a spiral: snatch → hide → guard → gulp. The more it happens, the more automatic—and emotional—it becomes. What begins as curiosity can easily turn into anxiety.
But it doesn’t have to. When we meet these moments with calm curiosity and give our dogs a role to play—like guiding us to the object or showing us what they’ve found—we interrupt the spiral. We shift from control to connection. And that’s where lasting change begins.
What Is Opportunistic Scavenging?
At its core, scavenging is your dog’s natural instinct to collect or consume things of value. It goes far beyond food:
A sock with your scent
A crunchy leaf or sweet wrapper
A dropped apple or pizza crust on a walk
A used tissue or a bottle cap
A shiny object that simply looks ‘important’
To us, it might seem random or gross. To your dog, it’s a jackpot. And because dogs don’t always know what to do with their found treasures, they often become overwhelmed: do I eat it? Hide it? Hold onto it in case I lose it?
And when they’ve been scolded or had items snatched away in the past, they quickly learn:
“If I let go, I lose everything.”
When Scavenging Turns Into Guarding
Guarding begins when your dog feels the need to protect what they’ve found—either because they don’t know what’s safe, or because they fear loss.
You might see:
Freezing or hiding with the item
Growling when approached
Swallowing items quickly before you can get to them
Avoidance or frantic behaviour when they don’t know what to do with their find
This is especially true when dogs are met with confrontation or punishment for scavenging. Even well-meaning humans can unintentionally teach dogs that humans = danger when they have something valuable.
The body doesn’t lie—watching for subtle signals like stiff posture, hovering, or a slow freeze can help you step in early before guarding escalates.
Reframing the Behaviour
Rather than seeing scavenging as “naughty,” we can reframe it as an opportunity for communication and trust-building. Your dog isn’t being disobedient—they’re engaging with the world. The real question is:
Can you turn that moment into teamwork instead of a tug-of-war?
The “Show Me” Cue
“Show Me” is a gentle, trust-based cue that invites your dog to either:
Guide you to something they’ve found, or
Offer up what’s already in their mouth so you can inspect it together.
This simple phrase carries a powerful message:
“I trust you. Let’s figure this out together.”
Cues like “Show Me” can help reduce the need to guard by giving dogs a safe way to communicate what they’ve found. When dogs feel they won’t be rushed, punished, or lose everything they value, they’re far less likely to resort to guarding in the first place.
Why “Show Me” Is a Game-Changer
No confrontation: Instead of grabbing, shouting, or chasing, you invite.
Builds trust: Dogs learn that giving you access to their treasure doesn’t mean instant loss—it could lead to rewards, praise, or even getting it back.
Encourages communication: Dogs learn to pause, wait, and involve you in their decision-making.
Promotes safety: You gain a precious moment to assess if what they found is safe to keep.
Prevents guarding: When a dog feels heard and respected, they have less need to protect.
Teaching “Show Me”: Two Different Training Paths
🎯 Part 1: Leading You to a Treasure
Goal: The dog finds something and instead of snatching it or ignoring you, they choose to lead you to it.
🐾 Step-by-Step
Stage 1 – Build the behaviour (no cue yet)
Scatter a few safe, low-value items. Let your dog explore.
When they naturally approach or sniff one, calmly walk with them.
As they pause at the item, mark (“Yes!”) and reward near it.
Repeat until they begin to expect your interest in their finds.
Increase your distance and let them guide you from across the room or garden.
Stage 2 – Add the cue “Show Me”
Once your dog consistently guides you, begin saying “Show Me?” as they start moving toward the item.
Mark and reward when they bring you along or wait beside it.
Reinforce this in real-life moments on walks or around the house.
🎯 Part 2: Letting Go of a Treasure
Goal: Your dog willingly lets you inspect or take what’s already in their mouth—without fear or stress.
🐾 Step-by-Step
Stage 1 – Build the behaviour (no cue yet)
Start with safe, medium-value items your dog is happy to hold.
Approach calmly and place your hand beside the object—don’t grab.
If they loosen grip or offer the item, mark and reward.
Trade with high-value treats, toys, or give the item back.
Repeat until your dog sees your approach as a positive moment.
Stage 2 – Add the cue “Show Me”
Begin to softly say “Show Me?” as you approach or offer the trade.
Mark and reward when your dog lets go or brings the item forward.
Occasionally inspect and return the item, so the cue doesn’t always mean giving something up.
“Show Me” vs “Leave It” and “Drop It”
💬 The difference is emotional:
“Show Me” is based on curiosity and collaboration, not control. It invites your dog to share, not surrender.
Final Thoughts
When we meet opportunistic scavenging with panic or punishment, we teach our dogs that they’re alone in those moments.
But when we meet it with trust, curiosity, and a cue like “Show Me”, we send a different message:
“You don’t have to figure this out alone. I’m here with you.”
Need Support?
If your dog struggles with scavenging, guarding, or panic-dropping, I’d love to help. Whether you’re in Edinburgh or prefer online coaching, I offer bespoke, compassionate training rooted in science and trust.